So I’ve decided to jump into a toxic spill
Please insert the notion that the toxic spill is what English students call a “metaphor”, and it refers to a situation, person or serious of events that are having a profound effect on you...it may be half baked but it’s a metaphor nonetheless. In some types of writing half baked metaphor is considered a delegacy, crime novels for example. I may not be making much sense and have any sort of continuity, that’s why I opened up with the line above... the toxic spill is effect my ability to make cognitive such and such...
Right, on I go walking down this rocky road of the metaphor, to put a veil of mystery on the situation at hand, if more for myself than anything.
So right, I saw this green glowing liquid and threw caution to the wind and jumped right in
And now I’m curious, the rays emitted, are changing me on a cellular level. I can feel it kinking my DNA, it unwinding, reforming in new helices.
There are two options;
1) I become a mutant, and fill with water and burst like the guy in x men, or get horrible growths and end like some melted plastic (either way I’ll get a documentary made about me on Channel Four after “My Dad was a Tree” and “Born Without a Face”
2) I get super powers. Laser eyes, flight, invisibility, waterproof mascara, the works.
So right the question is, do I get out now and risk being a half formed mutant, the likes of which even Sky Real Lives won’t want to do a documentary about?
So I cut my loses, put my fallen out hair into a plastic bag and chalk it up to experience, or stay in there and let it cook me some more, just for the LOL’s?
So people have seen me differently since the Spill. Maybe it’s my new neon green glow, maybe it’s the fact that my I can now stretch my rubber arms into a jump rope and skip with them, who knows? But it’s definitely different
Suddenly I’m this and I’m that and I’m like...am I?
It’s very strange.
And things from the past, people from the past (I say the past like it’s a place....ok one must only refer to the past like it is a different region if one has been alive long enough, when the past is like 5 months ago you can’t do that)
But that’s what the spill did, it made time stretch and now everything’s different
Things from the pa.... things from before don’t bother me as much.
And in college, in the lab I hear words coming out of my mouth “oscillate that defibrillator at the proverbial antidisestablishmentarianism” (well, like that impressive but it actually making sense) and I’m like...who said that? And it was me!
Have I been possessed by the spirit of the well adjusted? Is this the finding of self in college? It came on fast! And if that’s all it is why don’t I feel comfortable in this new self? She wears size 12 jeans! And understands her lecturers! She’s everything I’ve ever hated.
Ah conformity, they were right, it does get you in the end, staying at home listening to The Smiths and The Cure perfecting your sulk just don’t cut it anymore
Maybe I’m reading into everything do much, I should just do a few more laps of this toxic river, come on in, the goo is fine!
On a more normal note; I can drive on the road! (it's one my new super powers, driving, understanding things, and being a size 12) luckily I still have my deep cynicism and inherent mistrust of “good times” to keep me anchored, otherwise I’m so full of helium I might just fly out of the atmosphere.
*said like Hammer time; and Stop! Its quote time!
When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"
- Sydney J. Harris
I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.
- Diane Ackerman
I guess it’s just been a few months of a lot of activity that’s gotten me all ponderful.
I’m suddenly regretting the fact that I have to sleep to function. As it is 2am (hardcore! ROFLWSMTT... rolling on the floor laughing while still managing to type) I had best do that most monotonous of activities.
It’ll all work out.
(Does anyone know how to get toxic waste out of silk?)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Sex and Lisbon city.
I haven’t stumbled upon a theme to talk about like I usually do. I think it’s the unstructured quality to being on summer holidays
I’ve been off for over a month now. Got to kill all those brain cells from exams by watching day time TV, looking after the house, doing chores, that type of thing. Long walks. Very self indulgent.
I went to Lisbon with my mom for a week. What a city, very different to here. But as I arrived, in the surreal haze of waking up in your own bed and getting to a European city by lunch time, I noticed something; you probably get the most accurate view of the country in the taxi ride from the airport to your hotel. There you see the tall high rise apartments and giant ware houses and tile suppliers and the like. Then you get to the bubble. The tourist bubble. Which is great too I’m not complaining at all. I like the bubble!
Lisbon is a beautiful place. They have monuments everywhere, huge statues or modern art. We went on one of those open top tour buses, where you listen to head phones and learn some history of your surroundings. They have so many monuments it’s hard to remember why they erected each one... “We erected this monument because...well, it was a Tuesday. Monument erecting day. You know how it is”
The people were very friendly (and no I’m not being paid to write this by the Lisbon tourist board)
We came across several people who thought Ireland was part of the UK! So once we set them straight we got many a congratulations on being a republic. Which was odd. But nice.
The best thing about holidays is coming back. You get to see your own house with a sparkly newness.
That’s what I’ve been doing lately. So now I’m going to rant.
Sex and the city is the most shameful thing ever. Don’t get me wrong, I watch it, of course. But I watch it as the unrealistic dribble that it is. The notion that four well educated women have nothing to talk about but men is actually unravelling the tread of equality!
Three of them define themselves by their relationships with men and the only one who doesn’t is because she has the emotional intelligence of a hair brush. Samantha would be the “strongest” female, merely because she’s the manliest. She has casual sex and has literally no interest in developing a relationship. There are, believe it or not, well rounded women who aren’t jumping in and out peoples beds who talk about other things than sex.
Carrie- the main character- is the most self involved wench. (Who looks like a foot-but that’s beside the point But, having said all this she is a well written character. She’s self centre, difficult, victimises herself- I know lots of people like that (hell I probably am a person like that). She cheats on her lovers then makes herself out to be the victim, treats them terribly, she short with her friends most of the time. But people are flawed, so I guess it’s realistic. The thing I don’t get is she’s meant to be our heroine. Sarah Jessica parker was on Jonathon Ross and was shocked when he said Carrie is annoying character. She said that she thought Carrie was a very kind, independent person.
Hello?!? (Sorry that was very 90s) Independent?! The woman buys $40.000 worth of shoes and has to get her friend to buy her apartment for her (which by the way you never hear of her paying charlotte back again...she goes back to buying shoes)
That brings me on to my next point- what a bloody horrible time to male! I’m so sorry guys. I’m all for equality and “girl power” (trying to avoid the F word...feminism) but jeez it seems to be the age of the spoilt bitch. Carrie- our “independent” heroine in the movie moves into Bigs giant apartment and gets a closet the size of my living/dining room and we’re all meant to be happy for her?
Men have to let women be completely independent while at the same time still being men, but not belittling, but they seem to – according to sex and the city anyway- still need to pick up the cheques, be men’s men- have a high powered job but do the dishes, not be a sissy yet forgive cheating, respect a woman who sleeps with you the minute you meet them- and also you should be able to fly.
I know ideal relationships rarely- if ever- exist but they never even ventured the idea of a partnership- that two people could share their lives without this big power play. They reference “wearing the pants in the relationship”- who has the power- who wears the pants- who has the penis-i.e.; the man is power, and even if you are the woman in charge it’s because you act like a man.
It’s not fair to want everything provided for you but also be considered independent.
HBO claims that 93,000 girls from ages 12-17 watch the show with the permission of their parents. Girls are currently being brought up with the idea that you can live and not work, be demanding and yet void of personality as long as you’re pretty, and men in the end, will be the definition to the success of your life. (In the end of the series Carrie gets with big, Miranda and Steve are together, charlotte’s with her husband and even SaMANtha has a love)
These young girls look to Carrie has their idol! That is frightening! God help us, everyone.
I haven’t stumbled upon a theme to talk about like I usually do. I think it’s the unstructured quality to being on summer holidays
I’ve been off for over a month now. Got to kill all those brain cells from exams by watching day time TV, looking after the house, doing chores, that type of thing. Long walks. Very self indulgent.
I went to Lisbon with my mom for a week. What a city, very different to here. But as I arrived, in the surreal haze of waking up in your own bed and getting to a European city by lunch time, I noticed something; you probably get the most accurate view of the country in the taxi ride from the airport to your hotel. There you see the tall high rise apartments and giant ware houses and tile suppliers and the like. Then you get to the bubble. The tourist bubble. Which is great too I’m not complaining at all. I like the bubble!
Lisbon is a beautiful place. They have monuments everywhere, huge statues or modern art. We went on one of those open top tour buses, where you listen to head phones and learn some history of your surroundings. They have so many monuments it’s hard to remember why they erected each one... “We erected this monument because...well, it was a Tuesday. Monument erecting day. You know how it is”
The people were very friendly (and no I’m not being paid to write this by the Lisbon tourist board)
We came across several people who thought Ireland was part of the UK! So once we set them straight we got many a congratulations on being a republic. Which was odd. But nice.
The best thing about holidays is coming back. You get to see your own house with a sparkly newness.
That’s what I’ve been doing lately. So now I’m going to rant.
Sex and the city is the most shameful thing ever. Don’t get me wrong, I watch it, of course. But I watch it as the unrealistic dribble that it is. The notion that four well educated women have nothing to talk about but men is actually unravelling the tread of equality!
Three of them define themselves by their relationships with men and the only one who doesn’t is because she has the emotional intelligence of a hair brush. Samantha would be the “strongest” female, merely because she’s the manliest. She has casual sex and has literally no interest in developing a relationship. There are, believe it or not, well rounded women who aren’t jumping in and out peoples beds who talk about other things than sex.
Carrie- the main character- is the most self involved wench. (Who looks like a foot-but that’s beside the point But, having said all this she is a well written character. She’s self centre, difficult, victimises herself- I know lots of people like that (hell I probably am a person like that). She cheats on her lovers then makes herself out to be the victim, treats them terribly, she short with her friends most of the time. But people are flawed, so I guess it’s realistic. The thing I don’t get is she’s meant to be our heroine. Sarah Jessica parker was on Jonathon Ross and was shocked when he said Carrie is annoying character. She said that she thought Carrie was a very kind, independent person.
Hello?!? (Sorry that was very 90s) Independent?! The woman buys $40.000 worth of shoes and has to get her friend to buy her apartment for her (which by the way you never hear of her paying charlotte back again...she goes back to buying shoes)
That brings me on to my next point- what a bloody horrible time to male! I’m so sorry guys. I’m all for equality and “girl power” (trying to avoid the F word...feminism) but jeez it seems to be the age of the spoilt bitch. Carrie- our “independent” heroine in the movie moves into Bigs giant apartment and gets a closet the size of my living/dining room and we’re all meant to be happy for her?
Men have to let women be completely independent while at the same time still being men, but not belittling, but they seem to – according to sex and the city anyway- still need to pick up the cheques, be men’s men- have a high powered job but do the dishes, not be a sissy yet forgive cheating, respect a woman who sleeps with you the minute you meet them- and also you should be able to fly.
I know ideal relationships rarely- if ever- exist but they never even ventured the idea of a partnership- that two people could share their lives without this big power play. They reference “wearing the pants in the relationship”- who has the power- who wears the pants- who has the penis-i.e.; the man is power, and even if you are the woman in charge it’s because you act like a man.
It’s not fair to want everything provided for you but also be considered independent.
HBO claims that 93,000 girls from ages 12-17 watch the show with the permission of their parents. Girls are currently being brought up with the idea that you can live and not work, be demanding and yet void of personality as long as you’re pretty, and men in the end, will be the definition to the success of your life. (In the end of the series Carrie gets with big, Miranda and Steve are together, charlotte’s with her husband and even SaMANtha has a love)
These young girls look to Carrie has their idol! That is frightening! God help us, everyone.
Monday, January 11, 2010
meaning of life and peanut butter
I was sitting in a Vertebrate form and function lecture there a couple days ago. It’s a very interesting module, and besides the fact that the labs include a rat dissection (RIP Minnie...yes I named my rat Minnie), I’m very glad I decided to do it.
So the professor (a total PILF by the way) was talking about the nervous system and then said in passing, like it was no big deal, “There are wave lengths of light we can’t see, dimensions we can’t perceive and sound waves we can’t here, so how we perceive the world isn’t at all how it is” and then went on to describe the structure of the spine.
But I have to say that totally metaphorically knocked me off my chair. The chair being my concept of reality.
Even though, passively I knew all those things I had just never put them together before.
Then, in a metabolism lecture, the professor (not a PILF by the way) described, in the sense of a chemical reaction, that when we die and release gases that we are IN EQUILIBRIUM WITH THE UNIVERSE. Isn’t that just the most fantastic thing you’ve ever heard? Doesn’t make death sound so bad, just the completion of a reaction that must end. Atoms can’t be destroyed or made, so you just lose you’re structure, not the basis of yourself, I mean that physically, obviously you being alive is pretty important to being yourself....”Lucy just hasn’t been herself since her death”
These were all sort of mind blowing concepts to just be said in passing like that. It hurts my head, it’s the type of mental aerobatics best left to the philosophers and makes me want to run to a television to give my brain a snooze.
So I was thinking, you often hear people say that life is so incredible, so complex and so beautiful, and how could it all just be a merical of cosmic parking? But perhaps it’s only so incredible, so complex, and so beautiful because we find it hard to comprehend.
Every biochemical reaction, every mechanism, every property, could be as simple are the alphabet in a higher state of consciousness.
Ok I better not think that hard or I may hurt myself.
But consider this, (The slip that brought me to my knees failed What if all these fantasies come flailing around now I've said too much)
Consider the fact that we as humans, are probably (I say probably because I have no researched, just wondered it) the only living thing that enjoys doing itself harm. We get pleasure out of doing bad things to ourselves, surely there would be some sort of evolutionary trait to makes just not want to do these things that harm us? Why would a self destruct button be so fun to press? Where’s the divine design in that?
So many bad things feel so good, to quote Trainspotting “we wouldn’t do heroin if we didn’t enjoy it”
Surely something that is so damaging should feel bad?! That’s why we have pain receptors, so we don’t walk around bleeding and forget to do anything about it. Our bodies our designed to never get used to pain, no matter how much we endure pain is always painful so we always know we are being damaged, that is the purpose of it.
Besides the occasional elephant getting drunk on fermented fruit, I don’t think I’ve seen this type of behaviour except in the ever paradoxical human.
Why does pain go up to such levels? If the purpose of pain is to give us the idea that we are in danger then it needn’t go up beyond the level where we realise something is wrong. If someone gets the message at level 8, why does the pain go up to level 17? What’s the point in that? Why would we be designed in that way?
As someone who writes a bit, I feel I hold on too much to the Zimmer frame of analogy. I tried to confront some ponderings of mine in here; as usual I don’t feel I conveyed my queries properly. Oh well.
There is one philosophy I’m sure of; peanut butter makes everything better.
So the professor (a total PILF by the way) was talking about the nervous system and then said in passing, like it was no big deal, “There are wave lengths of light we can’t see, dimensions we can’t perceive and sound waves we can’t here, so how we perceive the world isn’t at all how it is” and then went on to describe the structure of the spine.
But I have to say that totally metaphorically knocked me off my chair. The chair being my concept of reality.
Even though, passively I knew all those things I had just never put them together before.
Then, in a metabolism lecture, the professor (not a PILF by the way) described, in the sense of a chemical reaction, that when we die and release gases that we are IN EQUILIBRIUM WITH THE UNIVERSE. Isn’t that just the most fantastic thing you’ve ever heard? Doesn’t make death sound so bad, just the completion of a reaction that must end. Atoms can’t be destroyed or made, so you just lose you’re structure, not the basis of yourself, I mean that physically, obviously you being alive is pretty important to being yourself....”Lucy just hasn’t been herself since her death”
These were all sort of mind blowing concepts to just be said in passing like that. It hurts my head, it’s the type of mental aerobatics best left to the philosophers and makes me want to run to a television to give my brain a snooze.
So I was thinking, you often hear people say that life is so incredible, so complex and so beautiful, and how could it all just be a merical of cosmic parking? But perhaps it’s only so incredible, so complex, and so beautiful because we find it hard to comprehend.
Every biochemical reaction, every mechanism, every property, could be as simple are the alphabet in a higher state of consciousness.
Ok I better not think that hard or I may hurt myself.
But consider this, (The slip that brought me to my knees failed What if all these fantasies come flailing around now I've said too much)
Consider the fact that we as humans, are probably (I say probably because I have no researched, just wondered it) the only living thing that enjoys doing itself harm. We get pleasure out of doing bad things to ourselves, surely there would be some sort of evolutionary trait to makes just not want to do these things that harm us? Why would a self destruct button be so fun to press? Where’s the divine design in that?
So many bad things feel so good, to quote Trainspotting “we wouldn’t do heroin if we didn’t enjoy it”
Surely something that is so damaging should feel bad?! That’s why we have pain receptors, so we don’t walk around bleeding and forget to do anything about it. Our bodies our designed to never get used to pain, no matter how much we endure pain is always painful so we always know we are being damaged, that is the purpose of it.
Besides the occasional elephant getting drunk on fermented fruit, I don’t think I’ve seen this type of behaviour except in the ever paradoxical human.
Why does pain go up to such levels? If the purpose of pain is to give us the idea that we are in danger then it needn’t go up beyond the level where we realise something is wrong. If someone gets the message at level 8, why does the pain go up to level 17? What’s the point in that? Why would we be designed in that way?
As someone who writes a bit, I feel I hold on too much to the Zimmer frame of analogy. I tried to confront some ponderings of mine in here; as usual I don’t feel I conveyed my queries properly. Oh well.
There is one philosophy I’m sure of; peanut butter makes everything better.
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